Shredding Faults
by Day of Diana
Summary: Ed and Al have gone home to Resembool for a relaxing week before they head on out to continue their search for the stone. What will happen on their "vacation"? Tune in and read! One-sided Al/Winry, and one sided Ed/Winry. Rated M for Ed's vulgar language.
1. Winry Gets Pissed Off

**DISCLAIMER: Nyah, I does not own Full Metal Alchemist, so if you're trying to bribe me to make more screen time for NV or Wrath, don't bother. Also, the series already finished... (boo hoo!) so I couldn't do that anyway...**

**Whee! I'll try to update often if I gets reviews! So R&R people!**

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Edward descended the train with a smile on his face. It was good to be back at Resembool. His own pastoral hometown. Who would have ever thought a great, famous, not to mention TALL, state alchemist would have come from such a quiet rural town? He certainly wouldn't, if he hadn't been that great famous TALL state alchemist. Ed looked around the train station. It was mostly empty, save for a few families waiting for their relatives. Resembool was such an out of the way town, hardly anyone came here. But Ed liked it. There was something about the country that made him just relax and slow down, even if he was only visiting for a few days. He breathed in the sweet air from the open air train station. Nothing could be so peaceful as this. Noth--

CLANG. CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANG.

Ed opened his eyes. Al was disembarking the train as well, and it was awful how loudly his body sounded within the train station. The few families that were there looked over at the two of them. Ed grinned at them and waved. He was trying to save face. The families smiled and waved back, then turned away. Ed could hear them muttering. He let it go, and pretended he couldn't hear them. He turned to Al. Al was waving at the families too, but stopped as Ed faced him.

"Glad to be back at Resembool, Brother?"

"Yeah, Al, if only for a few days. Let's go."

They started from the train station, down a long wide dirt road that led to the Rockbell's house. Ed was enjoying the scenery when Al spoke.

"Brother, do you have the feeling we're forgetting something?"

Ed shook his head.

"No Al. Try to shake the feeling off. We're here on a little vacation after all."

"But... I can't help feel we've forgotten _something..."_

"Ignore it Al. I want to get to Winry's house as soon as possible. Dark is going to fall soon."

"Okay Brother, if you say so..."

They walked another 15 minutes before Ed shouted, "WAAAAAAA! I left my suitcase on the train!"

Al sighed. "I told you so... I had a feeling..."

"NYAAAAHHHH! My money, pocket watch, and clothes were in there!" Ed flung himself to the ground and banged his feet and fists into the dirt like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Al looked at his brother on the ground. Then he turned his metal head to the train station, about a mile off in the distance. It was already getting dark...

"Maybe the train is still there..." Al mused aloud. Ed stopped banging his fists and shoes in the dirt, and said, "Hey, yeah..."

Ed stood up quickly and started running towards the station. Al gasped.

"Brother, ah, wait!"

Ed didn't turn around or stop. "I've got to hurry Al! Tell the others I'll be at the house soon!"

Al sighed again. He really didn't care for his brother reckless descisions, but he'd be loathe to stop Ed from reaching his goal. He decided against running after his brother, and walked on to Winry's house.

"Sometimes I just don't get him. The train will be gone by the time he gets there. I'm sure he knows that. He's way too short to reach the train on time..."

Al chuckled to himself. "Henh. Brother is vertically challenged, but he'll never admit that to himself."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ed reached the train station in 10 minutes. The train was gone.

"Damn it! Damn it all to fucking hell!" Ed punched a train station wall with his fist. A huge pink purse came out of nowhere and whapped him across his face.

"What the hell! I'm already having a bad day!" Ed looked up from the floor to a tall skinny lady with a baby slung over her shoulder. She narrowed her eyes. Edward closed his and got up off the floor.

The lady smacked him again with her purse. He stumbled, but didn't fall this time. He chose to ignore the smacking, and proceeded to the wide dirt road. He reasoned that when he left for Central in a few days, the conductor would be able to tell him where his belongings went. It wouldn't make sense to go back to the train station while he was staying at the Rockbell's. The train station was kinda far away, and it would be a pain to go walk down to the station tomorrow, or any of the days he was staying here.

He continued walking down the road. Night was falling. "Damn" he said to himself. And he had sort of hoped that Al would be waiting in the road right where he had left him. But that was a stupid thought. Al wouldn't have wanted to stay in the road, he would have helped Ed on his quest for his luggage. A fruitless quest. Ed grinned. Al was probably telling the story to Winry and her grandmother right now.

His stomach growled. He picked up his pace. The sky was tinged pink and orange, and quickly changing to blue and black hues. How peaceful and pretty the countryside was. Even if it was going to be swallowed by darkness soon, he couldn't complain. His hometown really was a beautiful place. He asked himself again if anyone would have thought that the Full Metal Alchemist came from such a place.

"Well, if I wasn't the Full Metal Alchemist," Edward said aloud to the coming night, "I would certainly want a house here."

Which was ironic, seeing as Ed and his brother burned down their house two years ago in Resembool. The only home they had ever known.

Ed continued his fast walk to Winry's house. The night was fully on now, no more pink or orange in the sky. Shadows danced along the road as Edward's eyes got used to the settling dark. He wasn't afraid of the dark, but he remembered he used to be. Henh, that was a long time ago. Well, no it wasn't. That was eight years ago. Hmm. I take that back. That was a long time ago.

Ed walked along, at a moderately fast pace, thinking about his possessions that were still riding on the train. He thought about what he was going to do if his things weren't on the train the next time HE got on the train. He snarled.

"Kick the conductor's ass! No, more like track down the guy who took my stuff and THEN kick THAT guy's ass!" Ed grinned maliciously at the thought. His evil grin faded. "But how would I do that? Hmmm..."

He mused to himself. Perhaps he should get a police bomb sniffing doggie to help him. Yes, that would probably work. He wouldn't pay the owner though... henh...

A twig snapped behind him. Edward whipped around and slashed at whatever was following him.

"I GOT YOU! You can not fool the Full Metal Alchemist! You--" Ed stopped. Nothing was there. He scratched his head with his automail. "Weird... huh. Maybe I snapped the twig, and scared, uh, I mean... tried to attack... whatever." He started walking again, listening intently for someone following him. He heard nothing. He shrugged. He started to whistle. He failed misreably. He couldn't whistle very well. Well, with two fingers he could, but that wasn't relaxed, calm whistling. It was more like "Get over here right now you idiot!" whistling. Yeah.

Someone seized the back of his red cloak and pulled it over his head. Before Ed had time to react, the same someone grabbed his wrists and shackled them together with alchemy. His hands now in fists, he could not perform alchemy himself. His cloak was still over his head. The guy who had jumped him was tying a rather strong cloth around his eyes, so he couldn't shake off the cloak. He tried to speak, but the guy shoved cloth material in his mouth. Before Ed knew what happened to him, the guy was marching him down the road. The guy's hands were so strong Ed couldn't break his hold free.

"Stop struggling. March."

Edward had no choice now. He knew ultimately this guy would lead him somewhere, and then probably take off the blindfold and shackles. Otherwise, the guy would have killed him right here. He allowed himself to be walked by the guy, hating every single step of it. The thing was, he could breathe and he could tell the guy who was leading him was walking behind, out of reach, leading Edward by a long chain, so he wasn't holding him directly. Whoever this guy was, Edward was sure he'd had experience jumping people before. Otherwise, he wouldn't have acted so smartly. Especially with the Full Metal Alchemist.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Al, are you sure Ed told you to come up to our house? Maybe he wanted you to wait for him..."

"No, Winry. I'm sure I heard him right. He said to come and tell you he's coming after he gets his suitcase."

"Hmmm. Okay then. So how are you Al?"

Al had made it to Winry's house a little bit after dark. He had run part way, just to get to the house faster. He wanted to see Winry again. He couldn't believe it when Ed had wanted to go to Resembool for a week to take a vacation before following up on their next lead... whatever that was. Perhaps Ed was tired of being a state alchemist already. Mmmm... I should have become a state alchemist too. Al thought to himself, sitting at the Rockbell dining table, with food laden on it. Al wished he could smell the foodstuff. He had vague recollections of what duck, stew, salad, and banana pie tasted like. He wished he could taste it again. Or at least smell it again.

"When I get my real body back, I'm going to eat and drink until I explode."

Winry looked at Al from the metal stove top she had designed herself. She really loved that stove top. What Al said made her take a wooden spoon out of a pot of boiling pasta and drip some hot water on it.

She didn't notice right then.

"What did you say, Al?"

"I-- what? Did I say that out loud? Ah, heh heh." Al stretched his metal arm and rubbed the back of his neck. More out of habit than anything. He couldn't feel anymore.

Winry nodded slowly and went back to her pasta. She happened to glance down at the stainless steel stove top where the water spot was.

"UAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Winry screamed, and put her face as close as she possibly could to the water stain. Then she turned around and started searching frantically through the kitchen cabinets for some stove top cleaner.

Al, alarmed by Winry's scream, stood up and nearly up-ended the table.

"What! What is it! What's going on!" Al tried to come round to where Winry was, but suddenly she whipped around and started spraying at the stove top like a maniac.

Unfortunatly, this made the fire boiling the water in the pasta pot flame up about ten centimeters, charring the stainless steel stove top and sending more boiling water out of the pot and onto the stove.

"Winry!" Al pleaded, "Turn the stove off!"

Winry, after spraying ten more seconds of the flammable stove cleaner, did exactly that. That was partly because the aresol can was empty. The stove was now covered in black soot and water stains, along with the mess of the stove top cleaner.

"Stainless steel my left foot." Winry snarled under her breath. "Now I can't use the stove and my pasta is ruined!"

Needless to say, Winry was very upset that the seller of the stainless steel had lied to her and swore revenge on him. Al was not pleased Winry swore revenge on the traveling salesman, but was happy she had started to calm down.

However, it didn't help when two minutes later Edward came bursting through the kitchen door and was battling someone who was very fast with his eyes still covered by his red cloak, slashing at everything within reach.

"Show yourself, you bastard! Come and bring it on!"

Ed hit his back against the table, and, face in an evil grimace, sliced the poor table in half. It crashed down to the clean floor in two, spilling soup, duck, pie, salad, and stew all over the place. Ed evidently heard the crash, because he ripped off his blindfold. Then he stared in shock at the neatly cut table and food on the floor, and slowly raised his head to an irate Winry, a scared Al, and a flash of black and white that zoomed out of the kitchen.

"EDWARD!" Winry yelled.

Ed gulped. "Hiya Winry, I guess I'm gonna get beat up now. I'll start running then..."

Ed never got the chance. Winry chucked the metal pot of pasta at him, and he was out like a light.

"Winry... uh..." Al stammered.

"Save it Al. I'm going to the restaurant nearby."

"I'll come with you!" Al said quickly.

Winry looked him once over, and nodded. "My grandmother will be there. She's trying to talk the owner into buying our newly fashioned stove tops. Let's go."

Before the front door to the Rockbell house slammed and was locked, Al glanced at his brother out cold on the floor, and whispered his apologies. Then he (somewhat guiltily) went with Winry to the new restaurant a few kilometers down from the Rockbell place.

It was going to be a happy night for him.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Will Ed ever wake up from his pasta pot induced concussion? Will you, the reader, ever find out who attacked Ed in the dark of the night? Will it indeed be a happy night for Al? And will Pinako ever get the owner of the restaurant to buy the faulty stainless steel stove tops? Will I, Day of Diana, ever stop announcing things in a deep dramatic voice? **

**Stay tuned for the next chapter of Total Drama... er... I mean... Shredding Faults! Cool title, but it sort of a CRACK fix. I mean... fic. Yeah, crack fiction. Hahs. **

**o.O I needs to get out more. **


	2. A Meal At A Restaurant

**Welcome to the second chapter of Shredding Faults! Now with 30% more taco meat! If yah likes mah story, read and review!**

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ed woke up to a throbbing sensation on the side of his temple. The throbbing sensation quickly turned to pain as he gained more awareness of his senses. He sat up groggily and rubbed the back of his head slowly. He needed an ice pack and medicine for his headache. Where was he...

"Where am I?" asked Ed aloud to an empty house. He looked around, and cursed as more pain flooded his mind. He made to stand up, and his left hand pushed on something thick and liquid-like. Unbeknownst to Ed, this was part of the red bean stew Winry was going to serve him and Al. Twenty minutes before, Ed had smashed the table holding the stew, and it had since spread down to soak his red cloak and surrounding person with it's tasty contents.

"Ugh, what is this... is this... blood? WAH!"

Ed hurried to wipe off the "blood" on a conveniently placed towel. The ache in his temple was subsiding, but he still wanted medicine and an ice pack to calm it down even further. He wondered what had happened to the person who had brought him here... to Winry's house? Ah, he remembered. Winry knocked him out earlier with a pan or something. He was going to have to get her back. And what of the person who had marched him here? Was the blood the person's?

Ed made a sick face. He looked down at the floor and almost threw up. The blood... it was everywhere! It seemed to have seeped from under the smashed table to him! Then he felt it. His red robe was covered in sticky, warm blood. Ed almost threw up again, but managed to swallow it. Disgusting. He threw his red robe violently to the floor and shuddered. The trail of blood seemed to be coming from under the table. Did he dare look? Did he manage to get the guy? Ed decided to chance a look. He walked shakily to the table, trying to avoid stepping in the pools of blood, but it was inevitable. It got on his shoes. Ew.

Ed braced himself for whatever was under the table. He knew it couldn't be worse than... well... never mind, he told himself. And he certainly didn't mean to kill the person who attacked him! Sure, he wanted to wound the guy, but not kill him! Well, mistakes were mistakes. All that matters is if he learns from this experience, right? Yeah, right. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he found that what was leaking the blood was the guy who attacked him! Well, time to lift up the table and see the horrid truth...

Ed squeezed his eyes shut and lifted up the table. He forced one eye open. Then the other. He looked. There was no one there, just a bunch of broken glassware and a roasted duck, lettuce leaves, and a cracked crocker pot for cooking stew. Wait a second... crocker pot?

Ed took a second look at it. The crocker pot was leaking the bloody substance. Perhaps he squashed a mouse? No, too much blood for that. A bunch of mice? Well, let's see... Ed lifted up the crocker pot. He laughed with relief. It was full of dried red beans! The blood had been red bean stew! Hah hah! With his concussion, he must not have been thinking straight.

Ed sighed happily and let the pot back down. Now, where was Winry, Al and Pinako? Surely they defeated the person who had brought him here... Ed gasped. Footprints were on the floor. And the footprints were exactly that. Footprints. In the red bean stew, clearly marked. With all of the glass around, who would think to walk here barefoot? Ed bent down to examine the footprint closely. He frowned.

The print was smaller than his. It also looked a little skewed, as if the someone walking around here was walking quickly... so as not to step on the glass? Ed got up and studied where the prints were going. From where he was standing, it looked as if the feet walked around _him _several times before stepping behind the stove top counter... which was oddly charred and stained with water marks. Ed frowned again. Perhaps the person was behind the counter...?

A giggle sounded from the near the ceiling. Edward froze. He looked up... and gasped with horror as a shape fell towards him.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It took Al and Winry some time to walk to the restaurant. Winry didn't seem to be in a talking mood, so Al kept quiet too. He didn't want to upset her again. And she could be so awful after a fight with someone that it was best to let her make the first move.

"Nice night tonight, isn't it?"

Al started and looked at Winry. She was keeping time with his stride, walking alongside him in the moonlight. Her long blonde ponytail swung behind her back with each step, and the wind ruffled her short skirt.

"Uh, yeah. It is."

Al hadn't been sure how to reply. However, what he said seemed to satisfy Winry. She nodded, looking straight ahead of herself.

There were millions of stars in the sky. In big, crowded cities, Al used to look up at the sky and wonder why there were no stars. Of course, his brother had explained why. Street light pollution, among other air pollutions, kept humans from enjoying the sky at night in the city. Eventually, Al had gotten used to it. In fact, he hardly ever looked up at the sky at night in the city anymore.

But here in Resembool, the stars stood out so much so that Al couldn't help but look up and want to gaze at them forever. A memory flashed across his mind. He smiled. (But you wouldn't be able to tell)

"Hey, Winry?"

Winry kept her eyes on the dirt road, but replied to his question. "Yes, Al?"

"Do you remember, when we were kids, we used to go up to this hill and make up stories about the stars?"

Al could see Winry grin in the dark. She turned her face to him, still walking.

"Yes, I remember. Those were good times. But, Al, you're still a kid."

"Huh? But, I'm, you know, thirteen now. I'm a teenager."

"Really? Oh! That's right. Your birthday was last month. I know."

Al sighed. He saw far off lights in the distance. That must be the restaurant, he thought. He wondered if Winry would ever see him more than just Ed's brother, or some younger kid who didn't fully understand anything, even when he was grown.

"Mmmm. Boo."

"What's that, Alphonse?"

"Hunh? Oh, I guess I was thinking out loud again. Sorry."

"That's alright. You know, I think you used to do that all the time when we were young. It made me laugh sometimes, the inner thoughts of your mind. Hah."

"Really Winry? What did I say that made you laugh?"

"I forget. There's the new restaurant! Isn't it pretty? I think when Sheska comes here in the summer she'll want to work there."

Al agreed the restaurant was pretty. He tried to ignore that Winry had forgotten what he had said to make her laugh. Perhaps she really had forgotten, or maybe she wanted to avoid the question because... because... why? He'd have to try to figure that out later. Maybe ask Edward? Yes. He'd ask.

Al and Winry stepped into the restaurant. It was empty, except for a family of four and a boy and a girl who seemed to be on a date. They were sharing an ice cream drink. Al tried not to look at them.

The eatery looked to be a nice place. There was a small bar section off to the left side of it, made out of wood and steel. Al could see a pair of double doors that led to the kitchen, and bathroom doors marked for men and women separately. Not that he would bother with that. The main part of the eatery was composed of booths and a couple of two seater tables. Interestingly enough, the young couple out on a date was seated at a booth.

"Where's your grandmother?" asked Al in a light-hearted tone. He wouldn't be able to eat, but he could at least enjoy his time here with Winry... and Pinako.

"She should be arguing with the owner. I'm sure she'll be out in a minute."

Al nodded to that. He could even hear Pinako shouting something loudly to the owner in the back kitchen.

"Should we sit down?"

"Hmmm? Oh. I guess so. We might be waiting awhile though. Grandmother will want to make sure he buys our stove tops."

Winry grinned and proceeded to walk to a booth two in front of the boy and girl and seven in front of the family of four. She sat down and motioned Al to sit across from her. Al did so. He was facing Winry and the girl who was sitting two booths in front of him. He tried not to notice the last detail.

Winry picked up a menu from a metal holder at the end of the table booth against the wall. Al did the same. Winry noticed.

"Al, you don't have to pretend to order something and eat it. I know about your condition."

"Right. I just thought it would give me something to do."

Winry blinked. "Then by all means, read the menu."

Al bowed his head. "Thank you. I'll do just that."

"Mmm. Fried fish sounds good to me." Winry said a moment later. "And for dessert I think the chocolate cake..."

Al glanced down at his menu. He hadn't been reading it, but he said, "I would have the exact same thing if I could..."

Winry clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry Al. I didn't mean to be so insensitive."

Al looked up. "Oh, no, it's okay. I was just thinking, er, out loud again. Don't apologize."

Winry put down her hand. "Oh. It's just that you sounded so _longing _and yet so _frustrated _at the same time."

"Ah...um..."

"HAH!" came a loud voice from the kitchen. Everyone in the restaurant looked at the kitchen door. The doors flew open, and out walked a short woman with pink hair, furling a parchment contract with a gold seal on it. Behind her, a tubby but tall tanned man strode, furrows on his brows.

Pinako Rockbell walked with confidence to her granddaughter and Al's booth. She climbed up next to Winry, and said, "I'll take the chicken, a glass of sherry, and your finest piece of apple pie. Winry, what will you have?"

"The fried fish, lemonade, and a slice of chocolate cake please."

"Don't be silly Winry." Pinako turned to the owner. "We'll take the whole chocolate cake, if you please."

Winry gasped with delight. Al stared at Pinako.

"Right. And for you, sir?" said the owner, writing somewhat angrily on his waiter's pad.

"Me? Uh..." Al was saved from a response by Pinako.

"The boy will have nothing. Hurry up with our food."

The owner grimaced, then bowed slightly before stomping off to the kitchen.

Winry turned to her grandmother.

"Did you make the sale?"

"What do you think, Winry?"

"...Yes?"

"Of course! I always make the sale. Now we'll have enough money to fix that stove you ruined..."

Winry's face fell. "You know about that already?"

Pinako cracked a smile. "So you ruined another stove you made?"

Winry slumped back against the cushy booth and pouted. "Darn."

"Now now. And where is Edward?"

Winry rolled her eyes. "Don't you know? He was being a pain so we left him at home."

"I see," said Pinako. "He smashed the table, wrecked the little feast you made, and now you're angry at him?"

Winry huffed. "Yes. How do you always know everything?"

Pinako smiled. "Ancient Japanese secret."

Their beverages arrived, including a water for Alphonse, which he hadn't ordered, and didn't need anyway, but the owner said it was free of charge. Al could have sworn he heard the owner mutter, "Like everything else, with what the stoves are costing me."

Just before finishing the last sip of her sherry, Pinako said, "Oh, and you do know if Ed doesn't clean the mess up, you'll have to?"

"Awww! But, grandmother!" Winry complained.

"Don't worry Winry. I'll help." Al said in a gesture of kindness.

"Thanks Al." Winry sipped her lemonade while she smiled at him.

Al's heart, (metaphorically of course) swelled. He then happened to at the booth where the couple was. They were kissing each other. Al looked away. He wouldn't want to intrude on them by staring at them. He thought.

Perhaps one day, that would be him and Winry.

He made sure to keep that thought to himself.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Aw! Isn't Alphonse cute? Of course, it's purely one-sided, but still... aw! And sorry about making a short Ed and the mysterious attacker explanation. You'll find out soon enough, I just wanted to get the Al and Winry story out of the way. **

**And yes, Pinako knows all! Bow down to her, for she knows the ancient Japanese secrets! And always makes the sale!**


	3. Yes, Wrath Drank A Barrel Of Sugar

**Hai hai again! Wow, I'm feeling really manic and inspired today as well. Here comes Chapter 3! **

**DISCLAIMER: Nyah, I does not own FMA, so don't bribe me with that video of me dancing like Brittany Spears. Please, just don't. I do not own FMA! **

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Al, Winry and Pinako took the shortest route home after their dinner. Al was holding the chocolate cake Pinako had ordered. Pinako was lighting up her pipe, and Winry was walking along and trying to stay awake. She had had a long day fixing mechanical machines, cooking Al and Ed's mini feast, and other what not. Winry was just plain tired, even if it only was 8:00 at night.

Winry sneezed suddenly, and then felt something wet collecting at the bottom of her underwear...

"Aw, schnap!" Winry said to herself.

"Something wrong, Winry?" Al asked. He sounded concerned.

"No, no, I just... need a tissue," said Winry, hoping she had stocked up on maxi pads at home. "In more ways than one." She added under her breath.

"Oh, well, maybe you can use this..."

Al handed her a napkin that had come complimentary with the cake. Winry stared at it. She took it, then wiped her nose. "Thanks, Al."

"You're welcome," Al replied happily.

"Winry, are you sure you have the things you need for that at home?" asked Pinako suddenly, turning her large nose that was level with her granddaughter's skirt. Ew.

"Ah, um, what do you mean? Ha, ha?" Winry said.

"I mean your cycle..."

"Oh! Ye--"

"You're building a bicycle? Neat!" Al jumped into the conversation. "Is it for you, or Ed, or maybe-- wait! I can keep a secret. I won't tell if its for Brother..." Al looked at Winry's face. He would have been smiling.

"Er... I'm not building a bicycle, Al." Winry started.

"Please! I won't tell Brother if its a birthday present for him, honest!"

Winry laughed at that. She wouldn't explain what the 'cycle' was, but she could skirt around the real truth.

"No. The cycle is for me. Ed is lucky he'll never have one... pain in the--"

"Oh. Is it that hard to build and ride one for you? Sorry I jumped to conclusions..."

"Naw, it's okay. Heh, its sometimes a scary ride for me..." Winry was referring to how she acted on her cycle. Al couldn't know, nor would he like to know. The cravings and temper would start soon...

"Then you shouldn't ride it." Al said. "Don't even build one if its so scary to you."

Pinako smiled and Winry did too.

"Its something I can't avoid, Al. We all have to ride out our cycles."

"Huh? Why?" Al still didn't get it. Winry resisted from giggling. Pinako blew sweet cherry smoke from her pipe.

"The law of nature, Alphonse. You obey it too, don't you?" Pinako took another draw from her pipe. She spoke again. "Even if you don't want to, you do. Although, its pretty hard for you in a metal body..."

Winry couldn't believe what her grandmother was suggesting. She stifled a giggle. "Grandmother!"

"Er, right... I guess I obey the law of nature... but what has that got to do with forced bicycle riding? And I think I can ride a bicycle in this body. I just have to try really hard."

Winry laughed out loud. She didn't think Al understood what he was talking about. Well, they were talking about separate things, anyway. But still. It was funny.

"Yes, I suppose you will have to try very hard. But enough of this foolishness, there's the house." Pinako tapped her pipe, and out fell a few embers and small pieces of charred cherry tobacco.

Suddenly, a shriek filled the night air. It was coming from the house. Al didn't even stop to look back at Winry and Pinako. He ran as fast as he could (which was pretty fast) towards the Rockbell house.

"Brother! Don't worry! I'm coming!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2 HOURS EARLIER...

Ed gasped in horror as the shape fell to him. It didn't land on him though, as he stepped aside, and the falling shape slammed into the ground. At least, it would have, if it didn't nimbly land on its feet. Ed gasped again.

The homunculus Wrath was getting up from his position from which he landed. He looked taller than the last time Ed had seen him, though his hair was just as long and black. He wore a smaller version of Envy's clothes; a half skin tight tank top and a skin tight pair of shorts with a half skirt. He was also thinner and paler than when Ed had last seen him, but his eyes were just as deep and purple, with pupils like that of a snake's.

"WAAAAA!" Ed screamed, and, putting his real arm on his automail, transmuted it into a shiny blade. He lunged, but Wrath dodged. Wrath was quick. The littlest homunculus ran two times around the kitchen, with Ed slashing at him at every blur he was. Then Wrath zipped out of the kitchen and into the living room. Ed ran after him.

CLUNK.

Ed had run into the metal wall Wrath decided to put there. Ed cursed, then, holding his head, went around the metal wall to find Wrath sitting peaceably on the sofa, waiting. Ed shook his head and blinked a couple of times. Wrath still sat there not looking manic or hyper at all. In fact, he looked sort of sad.

"Alright. What is all this about?" Ed glanced around, waiting for the other homunculi to jump him. He stood still, tensed, waiting.

"Well, Full Metal Alchemist, I've decided to help you."

Ed whipped his head around to Wrath, who was sitting on the sofa, calm as the lamp standing on the side table next to Ed.

"Really?" Ed did not let his guard down. "Why?"

"Um. Because I ... do." Wrath looked as though he had not expected Ed to ask such a ridiculous question.

"You do, huh? Well, then..." Ed took another few glances about the Rockbell living room. Nothing moved or made a sound. There seemed to be no one else here. However, that did not mean the other homunculi were hiding somewhere in the house.

"How can I trust you?" Ed asked warily. He walked over to the sofa opposite Wrath. "You're a homunculi." Ed sat down on the sofa.

Wrath nodded. "Yes. That's true."

They stared at each other for a couple of tense minutes. At least for Edward, those were tense minutes. Wrath looked so sure and calm, for whatever reason. Ed narrowed his eyes.

"Did you jump me?" Ed was ready for a denial. He didn't expect the truth, not from a homunculi.

"In the kitchen, or on the dark road leading to this house?" Wrath replied, grinning.

"Uh... both." Ed was surprised. The truth? From Wrath?

"Yes to both times, then."

"Um. Why?"

"For fun. I thought it would be fun."

"Right. Okay. Could we get this over with?"

"Get what over with?" Wrath asked, crossing his right leg over his left knee and bouncing it up and down. Like a sudden, manic child.

"The fight with your homunculi buddies? Hell, what did you think I was going to say? I know you're up to something..." Ed was getting irritated. He hated waiting. He just wanted to get this over with, so he could eat. Oh, eating. He was hungry.

"Fight? I told you I wanted to ---"

"LIAR! Let's just get this over with and FIGHT, god dammit!" Ed sprung up from the sofa and walked towards Wrath menacingly. Wrath didn't move. He did speak, though.

"Edward, you don't want to fight me. You know who would win. Besides, I drank a barrel full of sugar before I attacked you on the road."

Edward stopped at the coffee table. He raised an eyebrow. "You _drank _sugar before jumping me?"

Wrath nodded. "It's fairly easy to do. And delightfully tasty."

Ed chose to ignore that. "Alright, stop playing. Let's fight."

But before Edward could slice Wrath's stomach in half, the homunculi grabbed his throat and squeezed hard. Ed couldn't breathe.

"I told you I didn't _want _to fight. I want to _help you." _

"Help me what?" Ed managed to choke out. He imagined himself turning blue.

Wrath grinned and released Ed. "Why, help you find the stone of course."

Ed gasped for breath. He looked at the homunculi. "And so I ask again: Why should I trust you?"

Wrath sighed impatiently. The sugar must have been resting in his system. Now it was going to go off at any second. Nevertheless, he tried to explain before he had another manic attack.

"I was taken in by Greed," Wrath started. "He got me away from Envy, Sloth, Lust, and everyone else on that side. He needed me, and he wanted to teach me."

"Needed you... for what?" Ed asked. Ed wasn't fully certain Wrath was telling the truth. But he did remember Greed. Their last encounter hadn't been nice, but Greed did seem more level-headed than the other homunculi. He had even given Ed advice, now that Ed thought about it. However, Ed didn't remember seeing Wrath with Greed at any time during their encounter... and that encounter had been a month ago.

"He needed someone to perform alchemy for him. I did. He's a nice guy once you get to know him." Wrath sat down on the sofa again, and Ed stood above him. Ed frowned.

"Really. And how easily did you go from Sloth, Envy, and Lust?"

"Not very easily. But in time, Greed taught me they were the bad side, and he and the chimeras were the good side." Ed guessed Wrath was trying to explain as best as he could. He remembered the chimeras. Did Greed---

"Did Greed tell you to come help me and Al?" Ed asked. He knew Wrath was impressionable, and once a kid like that got used to someone he admired, that kid would do anything the 'hero' told them to do...

"In fact, no, he didn't. I decided to on my own."

Oh? Ed was surprised by this, sort of.

"I figured, since Greed called you his 'homie', that you were on the good side too. I left the Devil's Nest yesterday. I traveled, scared some people, and found out you were going back to your hometown from a man named Mustang."

Mustang. Grrr. And what the hell was a 'homie'? Hmmm. Maybe Wrath was a good addition to help find the stone. After all, wasn't it always a good thing you had a super human (well, not human per say) on your side? Ed considered. He decided to trust Wrath, for now. But if Wrath did anything sneaky and he found out... there was going to be hell to pay for the littlest homunculi.

"Well, I'll have to talk to Al about it, but ... you're in."

"Great. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Wrath ran right to a living room wall and started to scale it. Ed gave him a startled look.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"This spider has been annoying me for a while now. I must kill it." Wrath answered as he picked the said spider off of its web and squashed it between his fingers. Ed stared with a sick face.

"Next time you do that, can you let it live and put it somewhere else?"

Wrath climbed down from the corner of the wall. "No."

"Well, then... just don't do it in front of me." Ed knew how useless it was to argue with someone who was set on something. And Wrath _was _Teacher's dead child... heh.

"Okay. I'll try to remember that." Wrath zoomed out of the living room. Ed barely had time to make a shocked face at how fast Wrath could run when he heard the front door open and slam.

"Henh. Ooookay..." Ed said aloud to the empty living room. "Wrath must be trying to burn off the sugar... drank a barrel... weird."

Speaking of barrels and sugar made Ed remember just how hungry he was. He went back into the kitchen and groaned when he saw the mess. He was going to have to clean that up... later. Right now he'd find some food...

Ed opened the pantry and got out a box. Then he went to the cabinet and got out a bowl. He then opened a counter drawer and chose a spoon.

He went back into the living room and sat on the couch. Ed poured the box of cereal into the bowl and began eating.

"Whee," Ed said as he munched the grain. "Breakfast for dinner."

About an hour and a half later, a shrill scream pierced the night air as Wrath fell twenty feet down into an empty water well. He had been cart wheeling.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Sweet. Chapter 3 is up and running! I know it's not in the whole FMA plot, but don't you think Wrath would have joined Ed and Al on their adventures if he had been 'rescued' by Greed? Its nice to think about, but he'd still be the little killer homunculus he always was. **

**I need some sugary candy now. 8D**


	4. They Come Home To A Dirty Kitchen

**Welcome to the 4th installment of Shredding Faults! Whee! I hope you are all enjoying the story, even if it does not make any sense at all and the characters are not themselves!**

**DISCLAIMER: Nyah, I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. Not even an action figure of one of the characters. *Deep dramatic sigh***

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Brother!" Al shouted as he burst through the Rockbell's front door.

Ed was no where to be seen. Al took this as a bad sign. The metal suit of armor started searching for his brother in the living room. He looked behind the couches, under the coffee table, and was about to check behind the armoire when he heard a voice.

"Al? What are you doing?"

"Brother!"

Al ran over to him and hugged him so tightly Edward couldn't breathe. Ed felt like he was in Wrath's choke hold again.

"Al... let me go now!" Edward said through the strangling hug.

"Oh, sorry Brother!" Al let him go with a sheepish look on his metal face. At least, that's how he imagined he looked.

Edward coughed. "Bloody brilliant. Almost died twice in a day..."

"Oh yeah! I heard you scream. What happened to you?"

Ed faced Al. He smiled and put up his hands. "That wasn't me. I think it was the homunculus. He must've done some--"

Al gasped. Ed knew he would. "A homunculus! Brother, we have to get them away from here!"

"Al, relax, I'll explain---"

"Look! There he is!" Al shouted suddenly, and took up a stance to fight. Ed blinked and turned to the kitchen doorway to see Wrath, who for some reason was covered in dust.

"Hai Edward, Al..." Wrath began, smiling widely.

"Watch out Brother! He's going to attack!"

"Al, no he's not..."

"Yeah, no I'm not---"

Wrath stood in the kitchen doorway, brushing dust off his skin tight clothes, while Al, still in a fighting stance, turned to his brother, confused.

"How do you know, Brother?" Al asked, sounding bewildered. Ed grinned at him. Al sweat dropped.

"Well, Wrath told me he's coming over to the good side from the dark side---"

"Really? And you trust him?" Al's tone was suspicion. Ed guessed he had a good reason to be suspicious. Wasn't he, when Wrath had announced his plans to help the two brothers? Yes. In fact, he still hadn't let his guard all the way down.

"I do trust him." Better to lie now and explain later, eh? "He told me Greed took him under his wing, and---"

"Oh! The homunculus with the chimera band? With Marta?" Al asked.

"Er, yes. The one with the chimeras. With Marta." Who the hell was Marta? Ed asked himself.

"Oh yeah. Okay. If you trust him, then I trust him, Brother." Ed could have sworn Al winked at him, which he took as a sign that Al did _not _fully trust Wrath. Ed nodded to Al.

"Well. I didn't think it would be this easy to convince you guys that I am trying to help you." Wrath walked over to them. Ed and Al tensed. Wrath, however, did not seem to notice, and held out his hand.

Ed looked at it. Wrath's hand was dusty. What had he been doing? Before Ed thought about it, he shook Wrath's hand. He immidieatley regretted it though, as these were his only pair of gloves. He remembered his suitcase was on the train, and cursed silently.

Al took Wrath's hand and shook it as well. Even though he couldn't feel it. He also noticed Wrath's eyes were purple, and the pupils were snake-like. He blinked. That was not how he remembered it ... oh well. If Wrath tried anything on their journey to the stone, Al wouldn't hesitate to break the homunculus' neck.

"So, we're all settled then. When do we leave? Tonight?" Ed and Al looked at him. They then shared a look with each other. Ed answered.

"No, uh, we were planning a little vacation, so we're going to stay here for a week."

Wrath looked a bit fazed. "A week? Wow, you guys are kinda lazy." Ed and Al blanched.

"No we're not!" They shouted in unison. "We need a break. All good guys need a break. Right, Brother?" Al stared straight into the homunculus' purple eyes. Wrath didn't blink.

"Yeah, a break. We're tired of chasing down false leads, homunculi brat. We're gonna spend a week here, whether you like it or not." To prove his point, Ed sat down on the sofa hard. Al followed suit, sitting on the other sofa. Wrath stared at the two of them.

"I'm not a brat. But I think we should hurry up and get the stone---"

"Why?" Ed snapped, closing his eyes and leaning back against the sofa. "You got any good ideas on where to find it? Or how to make it?"

Wrath was taken aback by the alchemist's attitude. "No, but ... um. Well, fine."

At that moment, the front door was opened, and Winry and Pinako walked into the living room. Winry spotted Wrath and shrieked.

"WHAAAAAA! That homunculus! Get it out of the house! Get out!" Winry picked up a wrench from a side table and threw it at Wrath. Wrath caught the wrench without even turning around. He bent it in two using his fist. Winry, Ed, and Al stared. Pinako puffed on her pipe.

"Okay. I know what this is. You're supposed to fix things with it, not go throwing it at people's heads." Wrath turned around to Winry. "Would you like me to throw it at you, and see if you can catch it? I don't think you have quite the reflexes I have, but maybe I'm wrong... catch!"

Winry ducked, but Wrath only mocked throwing the wrench at her. He grinned manically. "Ha. Just testing you. Remember me, Winry?"

Winry got up off the floor. Ed and Al exhaled. The homunculus was just playing, Ed and Al thought to themselves. Just kidding... but Winry will still rip his head off.

"I remember you all right. BEND BACK MY WRENCH RIGHT OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE!" Winry screamed.

Wrath hastily complied. Pinako walked on to the kitchen. Wrath handed Winry back her wrench. She studied it, then smiled. Then she hit Wrath over the head with it.

"Winry!" Ed and Al gasped. Winry looked at them with an evil gleam in her eye. The two shrank back against the sofas at once.

"Ouch..." said Wrath from the floor. "You've gotten stronger." He rubbed his head where Winry had hit him.

"I have? Really?" Winry smiled and did a little dance. Wrath rolled his eyes and made to get up. Winry, however, pointed the wrench at his throat. Wrath didn't make another move to get up. He calmly eyed the wrench that was threatening to pierce his wind-pipe.

"What now, Winry?" Wrath asked. "I hardly think a semi-sharp wrench is going to hurt me."

Winry frowned. She still stood over him (with her short skirt), holding the wrench. Then she looked at Ed and Al, who were surveying the unfolding scene with interest.

"Is this semi-sharp wrench going to hurt him, guys? You _are_ the homunculi experts."

"I don't think so, but don't do it anyways. Wrath is going to help us in our quest for the stone. And, before you argue with us, Winry! He already told us he is going to help, so don't piss him off. Please?" Ed finished in three breaths. Winry stared dumbstruck at him.

"Oh really--" Winry began, but was cut off by Al.

"Yes really! And we're so thankful and happy, aren't we, Brother?"

Ed nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, that's exactly right."

They both grinned. Well, Ed did, but you could sense Al was too.

"Alright... then..." Winry frowned slightly as she stepped off of Wrath. She looked at the homunculus with narrowed eyes. "You can't control people's minds, can you?"

Ed and Al stopped grinning. Ed started to laugh. Wrath looked straight into Winry's eyes and answered. "No... that's... impossible. Even for homunculi."

Winry thought about this. Wrath _had _looked her straight in the eyes... and people usually did that when telling the truth... Winry decided to half believe him. After all, she had left Ed alone two hours ago, and the house wasn't in flames, nor was Ed dead...

"Okay, I believe you." Winry looked Wrath over once, then twice. "Say... aren't you taller than the last time I saw you? And... you kinda look older..."

"Oh, that. Yes. I think I'm about thirteen now. I do not know why... perhaps, now that I'm in the human world and not behind the gate, I'm aging quicker?" Wrath shook his head. "But I really don't know."

Ed got up from his couch. Al did the same. Ed walked over to Wrath, and looked him over the same as Winry had done. He agreed. Wrath did look older sorta, and taller. Perhaps it was an effect from the human world. Hmmm. Odd.

Al guessed this was true as well. He agreed with Ed and Winry. But it sorta seemed odd to him too.

"So, Ed, did you clean up the kitchen while we went out to dinner?" Winry asked, as she walked towards the kitchen.

"You guys went out to dinner? Why didn't you invite me?" Ed whined.

"'Cause I knocked you out with a pasta pot---" Winry, Wrath, Ed and Al had arrived at the kitchen. Which was still a mess. Winry turned to Ed. Oops. He had forgotten to clean up the kitchen...

"ED! CLEAN UP THIS MESS RIGHT NOW!" Winry could be soooo loud when she was angry. Ed jumped to attention, and said, "Ma'am yes ma'am!" before scrambling to find a mop and bucket.

Wrath and Al stood at the kitchen entrance, observing Ed clean and Winry shout orders that this and that spot be as sparkly as her sterling silver earrings.

"This is going to be a long week." Al commented to Wrath, who was enjoying the show.

"Yes," Wrath remarked, as Ed furiously scrubbed a stubborn spot. "And you know what else?"

"What?" asked Al, watching Winry shake her head, making her blonde ponytail swing back and forth.

"Winry likes to wear thongs." Wrath said. He turned his head to Al and grinned.

Al grinned back. (At least, he would have.)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Heh heh. Perverted little homunculus, snuck a look up Winry's skirt! Well, she was asking for it. Not literally, of course.**

**I actually believe that's what Wrath would be like at thirteen, so I had to make him older, just so that thread would fit. Don't worry, it will only escalate from here!**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter! I'm running on malted milk balls right now! Squee! **


End file.
